For Those Who Love Them
(I originally wrote this piece in 2018 but wasn’t brave enough to post it then. Some of the cultural references may be dated, but the message still holds true.)
Lately there have been a lot of suicides.
Kate Spade. Anthony Bourdain. The kid across town.
No matter who you are, you have probably known of someone who took their own life.
What has come over this world?
Why are all these people choosing to leave by their own hand?
For most of them, it’s lack of hope.
When you ask suicide survivors why they did it, a majority of them will tell you they thought there was no hope.
None.
We need to bring back hope.
Hope for help, peace, understanding, and acceptance.
Hope that is only found in God, through Christ alone.
We must remind them of God’s faithfulness; encourage them to turn to Him.
Of course, this must be done gently.
They’re already beat down by their own ugly thoughts.
No need to beat them over the head with a Bible.
By gently sharing the truth of God’s love and reminding them the Creator of the Universe loves them and wants to help them we can begin to point them to the only place real hope exists – in Christ.
Telling them to stay is not enough.
Telling them to stay because we love them is selfish.
That’s just one more responsibility heaped on their shoulders – the responsibility to stay because that’s what we want.
It’s heartbreaking to know there are people out there struggling with this.
Especially since we don’t always see the signs.
Don’t always recognize they are in trouble.
The ones we do see we of feel powerless to help.
How do we help them fight these awful urges?
The first thing we do is pray.
Ask El Roi, the God who sees, to look down on them and help them.
Ask Him to give them the strength to fight and the courage to reach out for help.
Ask Him to use us to minister to them and ask Him to show us what to do.
The next thing is we go to them.
We do whatever is necessary to help them.
Bring them food.
Hug them.
Tell them we are behind them and there for them.
Listen to them talk.
No matter how much we disagree with them or how confused we think they are, we don’t judge them.
We speak truth when appropriate, but we absolutely don’t argue.
We love them and make ourselves present for them.
We offer them something to hang on to that will help them – we offer them the hope only Christ can provide.
We remind them that God loves them and He understands what they are going through.
We encourage them to look to Jesus, who, while walking on this earth as a man, was tempted in all ways, and therefore knows firsthand what it feels like to be tempted with this, too, and we help them understand He will help them find a way.
All they have to do is just trust Him the tiniest bit and look to Him.
He loves them and He wants to help them.
He’s just waiting for them to invite Him into the situation.
It won’t be easy.
They are fighting demons from hell sent to destroy them.
But, we can cover them in prayer while they fight.
We can continue to encourage and reach out to them.
There is no guarantee how things will turn out, of course.
Only God knows the outcome.
But if we will fight for them and help them fight for themselves by offering what they need – hope and the truth of who Jesus is, then we can begin to help them build a bridge to where there’s peace.
It is then that they will begin to feel His hope, to feel His love.
That love and hope will help carry them past all of the pain and into a relationship with Jesus.
That’s the safest place they can be and the best position they can be in.
Pray for them.
Reach out to them.
Love them.
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. Psalm 46:1-3 (NIV)
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin. Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)