When You Don’t Think God Likes You

I was talking to my friend, Elle, the other day about how she doesn’t think God likes her.

She said she knew she’d been saved but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t feel God’s presence in her life and she couldn’t see Him working.

I tried to help her understand that wasn’t true. I tried to explain how deep God’s love for her is. I shared the plan of salvation with her.

She said she knew all of that, but it just seemed like even though she made a commitment to Christ and even though she was seeking a deeper relationship with Him, He wasn’t responding to her.

I was heartbroken because she felt that way.

I was heartbroken because I didn’t have the words to say.

I walked away promising that I would pray.

I walked away wondering what I should have said to help her.

That was several weeks ago.

Last night the answer finally appeared. Or several possible answers.

I started to email her but then I thought if she is having this problem maybe there are others who are as well.

So, here’s my answer to her (and anyone else struggling with this).

Dear Friend,

It is not that He isn’t responding to you. He is. It’s that you can’t see it. There are several possible reasons. Here are a few things for us to consider:

1-Wrong Motive. Are you approaching Him because you want something from Him? Or, want Him? If we are going to approach Him we have to do it for the right reason – to have a relationship with Him. It’s not about Him helping us or straightening out our lives. He will do those things, but they are byproducts. It’s about giving ourselves completely – heart, mind, life, agenda, plans, dreams, goals, expectations – to God so that we can be His child and He can be our Father.

2 – Wrong Expectations. What are you expecting from Him? He is a very kind and loving God, but He is not a flashy God. Sometimes He shows up in our lives in the gentlest and smallest of ways – in the chirping of a bird outside our window, the laughter of a child or the smile of a passing stranger on the sidewalk. When we expect big shows from Him we sometimes miss the real thing right in front of us.

3 – Sin-Clouded Eyes. Sometimes when God responds to us we can’t see it because we have unconfessed sin in our lives. Things we are doing but shouldn’t. Things we should be doing but aren’t. That sin can blind us to God. It is important for us to bring the sin to Him in prayer, confess it, ask Him to take it and confidently believe in faith that He has removed it from us. Then and only then can we see clearly.

4 – Misunderstanding Our Role In Our Own Lives. Sometimes we forget or don’t realize we are not the captain of our ship. God is. We have to be willing to change or lay aside our plans in order to make room for His. This allows His will to rule in our lives. This allows us to glorify Him with our lives. It’s about us fitting into His plans, not Him fitting into ours.

5- We Don’t Know We Have A Part to Play. We cannot be idle in our faith walk. We are to be participants. We have to read our Bible and then live out the truths we find in it. When we sit idly waiting on God to show up we are not walking our faith walk. Faith requires effort. It requires commitment, sacrifice and determination. It requires work.

6 – Timing. Sometimes God’s timing is not the same as ours. Maybe He is on a different time frame than we are and we are expecting things at a different time than He is planning to give them. Remember, His ways and thoughts are much higher than ours so His timing is not always going to be what we think it should be. The next time you have an inkling or urge to read your Bible or pray, try doing it right then. No matter what you are doing. No matter where you are. Often we can better hear Him when we are quiet and relaxed than when we are struggling with something. Be open to the possibility He is going to speak to you at a time you don’t expect.

There are other things, too, that are involved, but these are a few to be thinking about. Please don’t give up. God loves you very much and He truly is reaching out to you. Keep reaching to Him and it will work out. I promise. More importantly, He promises!  I love you and I’m praying for you!

Karen

The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. -Psalm 145:18 (NIV)

 

(This post originally appeared on my previous blog, which is no longer available)