Today I am struggling.

I’m sitting here at my desk at work, silently crying out to God for a miracle.

This morning my sister called to tell me our stepbrother is in the hospital.

Late last night the doctors told the family there’s not much hope. His time is up.

I’m struggling because I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I’m grief-stricken.

Matt is a great guy. Beautiful smile. Great sense of humor.

Matt knows how to charm you so you think he’s your biggest fan in the world and that you are the most important person he’s ever met.

Matt is a heroin addict.

I don’t believe in luck, but if I did, I’d say his has run out.

He’s been making questionable choices for over 2 decades.

Hard, painful choices the family has struggled to watch. We’ve paid a price for his actions, too. Big ones.

Now it is all coming to an end.

I grieve because I see how different his life could have been. The lost chances. The wasted potential.

I want to reach out into time and change things. Adjust his past. Fix it somehow.

But, I can’t.

I’m angry because the drugs have stolen away the life of someone I care about. Someone I love who is so caught up in his addiction all he can see is the need for his next fix.

I’m grieved, too, because while several of us have talked to him several times, he has made it clear he has no need for God and that he is god of his own life.

How I wish I could have made him see the errors of his ways.

I know the only thing I can do now is pray. It’s the least I can do, but it’s also the most I can do.

So I pray.

I pray God will have mercy on Matt.

I pray Matt’s life will be a warning to others about the dangers of drug use.

I pray God will comfort all of us he’s leaving behind.

I know that this is not going to end well.

Matt is going to die.

At that moment, Matt is going to step into eternity to face a loving God.

A God who has given us all the chance to be reconciled to Him through His son, Jesus.

A Son who poured out His life for us so we could be saved and safe when we step into eternity – IF we choose to accept Him as that Savior.

I have no way of knowing what kind of conversations God and Matt have had over the last few days. I hope they are the ones that make the eternal difference for Matt’s future and that he somehow manages to get his life right with God.

Whatever the answer, I know that God loves all of us very much. He is long-suffering toward us and it is not His will that any of us perish.

But, He is also a just God who will cause us to pay the price for our sins if we don’t allow Christ to wash them away with the blood of His sacrificed life. We can only do that by calling on Jesus to save us, trusting in His gift of eternal life.

I might not be able to lead Matt to Christ. I may never know whether he got things right.

But, I can witness to others. I can be more committed to telling them how much God loves them.

I can continue to fight the good fight of faith as I seek to share God’s love with others.

And, I can pray for Matt until the very last moment.

God answers prayers.  Even when we don’t see or know it.

*If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, there is help. Below are several resources. You can also talk to a trusted relative, religious leader, medical professional, or friend. Whatever you choose, please reach out.

Addiction Resource or call their hotline at 888-459-5511. They cover all 50 States.

The Recovery Village This link also includes information for family members of those struggling.