I’m Struggling
Today I am struggling.
I’m sitting here at my desk at work, silently crying out to God for a miracle.
This morning my sister called to tell me our stepbrother is in the hospital.
Late last night the doctors told the family there’s not much hope. His time is up.
I’m struggling because I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I’m grief-stricken.
Matt is a great guy. Beautiful smile. Great sense of humor.
Matt knows how to charm you so you think he’s your biggest fan in the world and that you are the most important person he’s ever met.
Matt is a heroin addict.
I don’t believe in luck, but if I did, I’d say his has run out.
He’s been making questionable choices for over 2 decades.
Hard, painful choices the family has struggled to watch. We’ve paid a price for his actions, too. Big ones.
Now it is all coming to an end.
I grieve because I see how different his life could have been. The lost chances. The wasted potential.
I want to reach out into time and change things. Adjust his past. Fix it somehow.
But, I can’t.
I’m angry because the drugs have stolen away the life of someone I care about. Someone I love who is so caught up in his addiction all he can see is the need for his next fix.
I’m grieved, too, because while several of us have talked to him several times, he has made it clear he has no need for God and that he is god of his own life.
How I wish I could have made him see the errors of his ways.
I know the only thing I can do now is pray. It’s the least I can do, but it’s also the most I can do.
So I pray.
I pray God will have mercy on Matt.
I pray Matt’s life will be a warning to others about the dangers of drug use.
I pray God will comfort all of us he’s leaving behind.
I know that this is not going to end well.
Matt is going to die.
At that moment, Matt is going to step into eternity to face a loving God.
A God who has given us all the chance to be reconciled to Him through His son, Jesus.
A Son who poured out His life for us so we could be saved and safe when we step into eternity – IF we choose to accept Him as that Savior.
I have no way of knowing what kind of conversations God and Matt have had over the last few days. I hope they are the ones that make the eternal difference for Matt’s future and that he somehow manages to get his life right with God.
Whatever the answer, I know that God loves all of us very much. He is long-suffering toward us and it is not His will that any of us perish.
But, He is also a just God who will cause us to pay the price for our sins if we don’t allow Christ to wash them away with the blood of His sacrificed life. We can only do that by calling on Jesus to save us, trusting in His gift of eternal life.
I might not be able to lead Matt to Christ. I may never know whether he got things right.
But, I can witness to others. I can be more committed to telling them how much God loves them.
I can continue to fight the good fight of faith as I seek to share God’s love with others.
And, I can pray for Matt until the very last moment.
God answers prayers. Even when we don’t see or know it.
*If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, there is help. Below are several resources. You can also talk to a trusted relative, religious leader, medical professional, or friend. Whatever you choose, please reach out.
Addiction Resource or call their hotline at 888-459-5511. They cover all 50 States.
The Recovery Village This link also includes information for family members of those struggling.
Sanctity of Human Life Sunday
Today is Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.
It’s the day churches around the United States celebrate God’s gift of life, remember babies lost to abortion, and pray for the life of unborn children.
This day of remembrance was created by President Ronald Reagan to be celebrated the Sunday closest to January 22nd, the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, which legalized abortion in this country.
One of the ways people justify abortion as an acceptable practice is to say a pregnancy is “tissue” or that a fetus is not a person and therefore of no value. This is simply not true and goes against what Scripture teaches us.
God’s word is clear when it says, “He knew us even before He formed us in the womb,” Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV).
“We are to praise Him because we are fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful, we should know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 (NIV).
How could we not yet be a person in the womb if He already knew us there?
Please pray for women everywhere who are considering this procedure. Ask God to show them a better way to deal with their situation than to end the life of their child. Ask Him to speak to their situation and to show them the best path to take, and to provide them with the resources needed to take care of themselves and the child.
Pray, too, for the workers who man crisis pregnancy centers. Pray for their wisdom and courage as they stand in the gap for these babies, whom God is, “knitting in their mother’s womb, and whom He saw in their unformed body; whose days were written in God’s book even before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:12-16 (NIV)
For more information on Sanctity of Human Life Sunday, please visit the website Life Matters Worldwide
When You Don’t Think God Likes You
I was talking to my friend, Elle, the other day about how she doesn’t think God likes her.
She said she knew she’d been saved but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t feel God’s presence in her life and she couldn’t see Him working.
I tried to help her understand that wasn’t true. I tried to explain how deep God’s love for her is. I shared the plan of salvation with her.
She said she knew all of that, but it just seemed like even though she made a commitment to Christ and even though she was seeking a deeper relationship with Him, He wasn’t responding to her.
I was heartbroken because she felt that way.
I was heartbroken because I didn’t have the words to say.
I walked away promising that I would pray.
I walked away wondering what I should have said to help her.
That was several weeks ago.
Last night the answer finally appeared. Or several possible answers.
Resolve
Every year I choose one word to sum up my focus in the upcoming year. It’s a guide toward what I want to accomplish in the days ahead.
In past years I’ve chosen words like courage, balance, and freedom.
This year I chose RESOLVE.
RESOLVE – (verb) to settle or find a solution or answer for.
At first this word made a lot of sense because I am determined to get some things dealt with this year. I have some spiritual habits I want to improve and a few sinful habits I want to eliminate. I also want to take care of some situations going on that feel like they are undone and dangling.
But then as I looked the word up in the dictionary to get a better understanding of it, I saw that the word has a second meaning.
It also means to be determined or committed to making something happen.
Reading that I realized this is actually the part of this word that I need to focus on: being committed.
The two definitions go hand-in-hand. I have to resolve or determine and commit to make things happen.
I have to resolve to resolve these issues.
While I was thinking about how it might play out this year I started praying about what my verse for the year should be.
Today’s My Birthday!
Each year during the first few days of January I spend time thinking and praying about the upcoming year.
Instead of observing my year from January 1 – December 31, I see it as birthday to birthday; I start my new year on the new year of my life – January 5th.
2018 was a tough year. Several close friends and family members passed. There were several hardships and life changes to round out the year.
Yet, through it all, the Lord made His presence known. I could see Him in the way certain situations played out. I could feel His calming presence when I prayed and as I sat by loved ones’ death beds.
I cannot imagine having to try to sort through this past season of my life without the constant love and care of God. Through every step of the way He has been there to guide and comfort me, graciously helping me navigate through this stony path. Thankfully, I don’t have to imagine! He’s right here with me, always!
I don’t have a clue what 2019 will hold, but I know who will be there waiting. God Himself will be there. The Holy Spirit will speak to me and guide me in all things. Because of this I can make it.
I am so thankful for God’s words to Joshua so long ago,
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) (NIV)
He told him this just before a battle, but it holds true today, as well.
Whatever the new year holds, as I battle through it, I can trust that God will be there, fighting for me, comforting me, and showing me the way.
Here’s to a new year and all the good things it will hold!
Peace,
Karen
Happy New Year!
It’s a New Year!
With it comes this new blog!
I started it as a place to share the things I’m learning as I study God’s Word. You’ll notice it’s not like other blogs. No pics to accent the posts. No flashy graphics. No affiliate links or products to buy. Just God’s word and my understanding of it.
I hope when you read a post you will go to the comments section and give your thoughts on it. We all have so much to share and can learn so much from each other. What you have to say can help so many others.
Most of all, I hope (and pray!) I can be a blessing to you whether you’ve been a Christian for a long time, a short time, or are still deciding whether to trust Christ as your Savior.
No matter your opinion or spiritual situation, you are welcome here. You are loved. You are respected. You matter!
I look forward to getting to know you better and to studying with you as we learn more about God, His Son, and His rescue plan for all mankind.
Peace,
Karen
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” -Proverbs 27:17, (NIV)